Everything You Wanted to Know About China (But Were Afraid to Ask)

In case you were worried or just curious about certain aspects of my life in China, I made a little Q and A.

What time is it in China?
The same time as it is at home, only AM instead of PM or vice versa. It used to be a 13 hour time difference, but the Communist government doesn't believe in Daylight Savings Time.

What is the weather like in Beijing?
Very dry, but rather nice during the time I've been here. Spring was cool, but summer is here approximately NOW and it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow! Take that, East Coast of America with your cold weather and your floods.

What about pollution? Do you wear a mask?
The pollution is actually a lot less noticeable than I had expected. The sky is a bit opaque in the distance, but it still gets nice and sunny. I don't wear a mask, but in fact, pretty much nobody wears a mask, because those masks are basically ineffective against the small particles in the air that ordinary people breathe. People in dusty jobs (e.g. street cleaners) often wear masks, and everybody wears them during the spring sandstorm, which usually comes in March, but has not yet occurred, and may not occur this year at all. The upshot of it all is that you shouldn't worry about my innocent little lungs too much. I make sure to cover my mouth if I'm walking in an area with particularly dirty air, and after all, I'm only here for 4 months, anyway.

I was wondering about boogers. Are boogers different in China?
Yes! In fact, one of the most noticeable effects of the air pollution (or at least I think so) is the fact that it makes your boogers (or, to use the technical term, "nose gook") turn a darker color, the famous "black booger" effect (what, you mean you hadn't heard of it?). It sounds bad, but in fact you should feel relieved that my boogers are doing their job and catching the weird dirt that I breathe into my nose. Nose power!

Are the bathrooms all sketchy?
Mostly, yes. They are almost all of the "squatty potty" variety, although you will run into the occasional Western toilet. Really nice bathrooms will have toilet paper and/or soap, and maybe even paper towels or a hand dryer, although that's pushing it. Public bathrooms can be pretty smelly, and the bathrooms on the train are particularly rank. Also train bathrooms flush via a flap that opens onto the tracks, isn't that nice? I thought so too.

I hear the Chinese are buying cars faster than any other country, and China is already full of bicycles, right? Is the traffic scary?
I'm pretty sure there are some kind of traffic laws in China, but nobody pays much attention to them. It's pretty much every man/car/bicycle for himself. Imagine a gigantic game of Chicken, where everybody kind of drives at each other until someone moves out of the way (this is made even more fun by the use of horns). It's also a lot like Frogger if you are a pedestrian or cyclist trying to cross a several-lane street. At first I found the traffic a little unnerving, but now I cross the street like a total Chinese person, striding in front of moving cars and buses and dancing around bikers without so much as a flinch.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIT BY A CAR!!!
No I'm not. Don't be silly.

How do you know?
The traffic here is usually so jammed that the cars are generally going pretty slow when I walk in front of them, so it's not particularly risky. When we first got to China, the rule of thumb was "always cross the street at the same time as a Chinese person," but I don't really need that anymore. I am a total pro. In fact, I really enjoy crossing the street, because it requires so much strategy; it's like a sport. That I am awesome at. Sometimes it's even quite elegant, the way that cars and bicycles and pedestrians pass each other going every which way, coming within feet and sometimes inches of each other without touching. It's like a dance.

Are you careful about what kind of food you eat?
Most food is actually okay to eat, I just don't drink tap water. Before I came, I was warned not to eat raw fruits and vegetables, but after avoiding them for a little while I abandoned the effort, and now I'm just careful when I eat them. As long as they are washed well or peeled, it's not a problem. It would be a shame to miss out on the awesome fruits and vegetables here, especially the pineapple-on-a-stick that they sell on every corner. The students from last semester told us that we would get sick pretty much no matter what we ate, so we shouldn't bother being too particular in our food choices, just be vaguely reasonable.

So have you gotten sick?
No, actually. My tutor told me that there is a Chinese saying about traveling which says that different water and different land will make you uncomfortable (I'm paraphrasing here). She also gave me an analogy about these oranges that grow along the banks of the Yangtze River in Southern China that are very delicious in the south, but if you try to grow them in the north they aren't very good. I told my tutor that frankly I was quite comfortable in China and it hasn't disturbed my health at all, and she said that maybe I was still a good orange in China. I like to think that I'm a good orange.

I think you're a good orange.
Why, thank you.

I have a friend who lives in China! You guys could hang out.
Probably not. Even within Beijing, everything is farther apart than you think over here. And I didn't exactly come here to meet other Americans, anyway. No offense.

What about when the Lehigh choir comes?
That's different; I will totally hang out with them. Plus, their concert happens to be on my campus, as I recently found out. It's going to be a sweet time!

Did you eat anything silly today?
I got "Italian Red Meat" flavored potato chips, but frankly they mostly just taste like barbecue.

How does living in China affect the way you speak?
Well, besides the fact that my Chinese has gotten loads better, my English has actually gotten a little bit weird. I occasionally find myself speaking English with the grammar and style of a native Chinese speaker. Also I enunciate things more, like a lot of the time I actually say the entire word "to" instead of just that "tuh" sound that most Americans use in fast speech. This might be partially due to the fact that I talk with non-native English speakers more than I do at home, but mostly I can't really say why it is. Also my Spanish is so mixed up; it's nearly impossible for me to speak Spanish without Chinese words sneaking in. My English is already so peppered with Chinese that when I'm speaking to someone who doesn't know any Chinese, I have to restrain myself from breaking out into the little spurts of Chinglish that characterize most of my conversations.

How do Chinese people react when they hear you speak Chinese for the first time?
Some people are a little bit surprised, but are generally impressed that a person of my appearance knows any Chinese. Lots of Chinese will still refuse to acknowledge me, and will be really patronizing, slowing their speech down to a crawl, using whatever English words they know, and holding up fingers/calculators instead of just telling me numbers out loud when I ask for prices. It's a little bit funny and a little bit offensive and annoying.

So what are you up to right now?
I'm going to take a shower, study a little for my quiz tomorrow, and go to bed. Incidentally, in China I almost always go to bed before midnight and wake up at 7 something. It's crazy.

What if I have more questions?
Deal with it; I'm going to bed. Or post them in comments and I'll answer them later. I changed the settings so you don't even need a Google or Blogger account to comment, so don't fret! Hen hao!